Thank you Don, where ever you are.

As a young student journalist, I wanted to do a documentary about street people in Regina.  Yes, we have them, like every other city.  In the research process, I wanted to find someone who could educate me about life on the street.  After months of being turned away and turned down by various helping organizations,  I booked a meeting with a counsellor at the Regina Friendship Centre to tell him about the story that I was hoping to write, and to ask for his help.

When I arrived at the centre, a 28 year old man named Don met me.  He was about 6 feet tall, thin, with sandy brown curly, tossled hair.  His voice was soft and kind, and kind of crackled at times.  When we shook hands, his skin felt thin, and his hands felt weak.

We went to his office to talk.  I had explained my story concept, and after he sized me up as to whether I was trustworthy and genuinely interested in telling an untold story, he offered to help me.  It turns out Don was posing as the counsellor.  He was a self described "street person" who was originally from Winnipeg. I didn't believe him until he showed me a letter that was addressed to him from Social Services.

I explained that the story would take about 4 weeks to develop and he would need to be available at least once a week. I asked if he could commit to that, and he said, "I would like to. It will be the first thing in my life I have ever finished." So Don had a story to tell, and I had a story to listen to.

Don explained to me that the term "street person" refers to one that can live on any street, any where.  He said that "we" tend not to want to be part of the every day rules of society, but there are rules to live by if one is going to make it (and by that he meant be alive) living on the streets.

Over the weeks, Don took me to all the places in Regina that "street people" hung out. He showed me where he / they lived, and where they ate. He showed me who to avoid and he showed me who I could trust. During my time with Don, I felt safe.  They accepted me.  All I had to do was be sincere, and open minded to learn what they had to teach me. I had only but to listen and not judge. To be earnestly and genuinely interested in their lives.

One day in January, I was meeting Don in front of the Army & Navy department store. He was waiting for me at the bus bench across the street as planned. It was about 30 degrees below zero that day (Fahrenheit).  I looked down at Don's feet and he was wearing men's shoes, but they were not leather.  He had no socks.  I asked him where his socks were and he said they were stolen from his room overnight.  His face was banged up so I guessed the two incidences might have been connected.  I asked him to wait for me and went into the Army & Navy department store where I bought him 3 pairs of men's wool socks for $5.00.  I came out and gave them to him.  He cried, and then he put them on.

I never gave Don my home number, but I could reach him at the Queen's Hotel anytime.  Don kept his promise to me, with the exception of 10 days when I thought he had left town, and I would have to start over.  I called the Hotel every day and left messages with the bartender to call me when Don arrived.  Finally, I got the call that he had returned. I phoned him and we talked.  He explained to me that he was very sorry but that somebody was after him and he had no choice but to run. Such was the life of Don. I thanked him for coming back.  "It was least I could do," he said. "I said I would do this and I want to do this."

During our time together, Don told me all about his family, his life and his childhood. He said he didn't know where they were anymore, and he didn't blame them for not telling him where they were living.  Don told me that he started running when was 14 - got mixed up with drugs and alcohol and did whatever it took to feed his habit, including being a male prostitute at the age of 14.  Don said that his parents and family tried to bring him home, but every time they tried, he just ran further and faster.  "Eventually they gave up on me. I can't really blame them. I burned them out."

Don and I did finish the radio documentary.  And then I never saw him again.  I have often wondered what happened to him - if he found another street to live on in another city, or if he found his family, or possibly is living a normal life somewhere.

But each day when I go to work downtown, I see many of the people who I met with Don during our travels, and I think to myself - there but for the grace of God go I.  And then I remember to smile at them when I pass them on the street. And if they need a dollar for coffee, and I have one, I give it to them. If I could see Don again, I would thank him for teaching me something about humanity, humility and grace.

Circus Tents and Flying Trapeze

When I was a child, my favorite circus act was the flying trapeze.  I loved watching the person glide through the air, letting go of her swing, her arm extended, she would  find another that would take her the rest of the way across the circus tent.  It was exquisite poetry in motion. A beautiful bird in flight.  A leap of faith.  A courageous act of letting go, and having faith in what lies ahead. 

Most things that we do in life are a practice for the next big show.  At  3, we let go our children's hands to go to playschool. At 5 they go to kindergarten.  At 6 they were front and centre in their tutus and tap shoes. At 10 they went to their first school dance.  At 16 they learned to drive and we gave them the keys and a machine to hopefully navigate safely.  At 18, we watched them walk across the stage, graduating from high school.  In their 20's, they continue their journey, forging a path of who they are yet to become, learning along the way, testing the skills they learned through all their practice.

As parents, each time we waved good bye, we said a little prayer to ourselves. We watched them fall and pick themselves up. And we wiped their tears and bandaged their scraped knees and egos. 

What we don't realize that that with every step they take, we take one too.  Growth is imminent. To stop growing is to become stagnant.  When a plant becomes stagnant, it dies.  If a bird in mid flight, becomes stagnant, it can no longer fly.  Think about it. We were not meant to stand still. 

So we shouldn't.  There are signs all around us that tell us when it is time to take that leap of faith.  Job dissatisfaction.  Checking out.  Not caring about the things that used to matter.  Becoming complacent.  Sometimes we act out against others when we feel stagnant in our lives, as if we are entitled to change without taking a risk. Sometimes we just feel . . . finished with where we are or what we are doing.  For me, that feeling is one claustrophia as if being caged. 

But some measure of risk is required to let go and find a new place.  Like the circus performer who flew effortlessly through the air when I was 7, I am sure she was scared, but she was confident that she had learned well and prepared herself to take the leap.  

We need to learn what we have learned, heed the signs that tell is change is imminent, and let go to a new place, exquisitely, gracefully and fearlessly.

Using my powers for good . . .

It was 1996.  I was sitting on the stage at convocation. When I entered university, I set a goal to graduate and to become a writer. I pursued a Bachelor of Arts degree with a major in English, and a Bachelor of Journalism and Communications from the University of Regina. I remember thinking, now what?  Before I left the stage, I had a plan.

I set some early career targets to move me along my path of becoming a writer and away I went, finding things to write about. I worked as a journalist, corporate communicator, policy analyst, strategic planner and facilitator for a variety of companies, including national and provincial crowns, credit union companies, non-profits and private businesses.   

During the course of this work, I facilitated approximately 400 planning sessions, produced about 50 plans and strategies, as well as more speeches and presentations than I can remember.  I wrote and published poetry.  And it was good.  The work was recognized by my peers in the communications industry, as well as people such as the Auditor General of Canada for my work in annual reporting. 

A funny thing happened on the way to this goal.  I discovered the power of the written word, and the change that can happen when people come together to bring those written words to life.  I have also learned that the path of change is not always linear, nor predictable.  It is one that must take in a variety of perspectives and interests to share the vision. Finally I learned that when one's values align with the work, the work becomes important.  

So now, I am turning my attention to using my powers of good communication, writing and thinking to help legacy builders and thought leaders bring their important work to life with compassion for others, honesty and integrity.  

Where is it all going, and do we have a clue what we are buying?

Facebook, Twitter, Email, Gmail, Telephones, iPhones, cellular phones, blackberries, SMS messenger, PingChat . . .  there are numerous ways to communicate with each other.  We call this "social media".  It is technologically enabled communication that allows us to communicate with others.

Admittedly, I am a willing participant, although not a misinformed one - I think.  But I wonder where this is taking us as a people. What are we walking towards?  Can we control it?  And who else is listening?

Since the early times, it has been natural and in fact necessary to communicate with each other. When we think of communication, we think of talking to each other.  Connecting with human beings.  Connecting with our environment. Connecting with other worlds.  Connection is good, because if we can understand each other, perhaps we can one get along as a civilization.  Communication is culture building.  We have all grown up with special stories from the past that help create context for our present.  And over the years, communication has been largely verbal and with the written word in more formal contexts.  Newspapers, books, magazines are some examples of our source of information.

I remember when I was in Journalism School in 1996.  The "World Wide Web" was just emerging at that time.  We had trouble remembering addresses. We also wondered what was the point of this Internet superhighway, and how long would it last. We also asked questions about what it's impact would be, and how could it be used. How would one make money using this new vehicle? These questions are still on table. Ask the newspaper industry that must somehow adapt profitably to this new phenom.

This changes relationships too. Looking at my daughters, the eldest just missed the cell phone human leash, but my younger daughter was a cell phone kid.  We justified the decision by believing that we would know where she was and that she could call us anytime.  However, she was completely connect to her friends and social environment all the time. I believe this placed a lot of pressure on them.  As a parent of the cell phone kid, I had to learn to communicate the same way.  So now I have an iPhone because she may not answer the phone, but she will always respond to a text message or a GMail.

The same has played out in our work lives.  Most of us have a blackberry or some form of cellular communication device that connects us at all times to our workplace, to our families and to our friends.  Personally, at times, I find it to be an invasion of my own space. So, I exercise my option to turn it off, but there is always the risk that some "emergency" could happen and I would be unreachable.

FaceBook and Twitter are the new social media kids in town.  At first, Face Book was a great way to "connect" with family and friends.  In fact, our family has been legislated to belong because it is a great way to stay connected.  Now I can see the babies in our family grow up. We get to learn about who is doing what. And we are not strangers anymore.  I think it's great.

But who else is watching and reading your status updates?  Can a potential employer look you up and see your life in pictures?  Should they be able to?  Facebook has privacy options.  Use them.  Make sure that "only friends" can see your words and pictures.  And if you are worried, you can also block people from every finding you via searches.  The other thing is - be strategic about what you say.  Do not post things that you wouldn't want someone to see. Do not offend others.  And protect your own reputation by not posting embarrassing or questionable content.


Also, be aware of how easy it is to share pictures.  On an iPhone, you can take a picture, and immediately SMS it to someone as a text, or you can upload it to your Facebook page. How easy is that? To easy. Be discriminate and be wary.


Privacy is a bigger issue than you think these days.  Every step we take, every purchase we make, every credit card we stake, they are watching you. (I borrowed Sting's rhyme - couldn't resist).  But it is true.  If you post a comment about something on Facebook, you might find ads on your Facebook page about that.  And who can blame them.  Many entrepreneurial business people have discovered this new medium and like it as another channel to find their audience and sell them something.


Beyond that, we are seeing more virtual technology.  We have seen it in the movies - I am Robot was about the use of robotics to replace humans.  The movie Avatar toys with the idea of creating an alter ego outside of ourselves.  The Matrix supposes that we are living in a manufactured setting, driven and created by and for a higher technological power.


So, to answer the question, where is this taking us a people? I think it's our choice, but we have to set boundaries. The boss needs to know that after 5 the "crackberry" is turned off.  We need to set boundaries for communicating with our friends, and we need to know that somebody else might be listening and taking notes.

Islands in the sun . . .

Over the past few days, I have been on the island of Hatzic Lake, British Columbia.  I am here in the land of the lotus eaters.   This little community is right next door to Mission, and near Abbotsford, which is apparently the fastest growing city in Canada.  It is picturesque and au naturelle. 

Preying eagles, hungry coyotes, and of course the ever so popular ducks that casually land in the swimming pool, totally and perhaps strategically missing the lake altogether.  It's nature.  Predators, prey, squatters and runners, all participating in the quest to survive another day.

I watched the last episode of LOST, and I am proud to say, I am lost on what the show is about, so I am thankful that I did not invest 3 years of my life watching it. However, with my 2 hours of experience with this mental mystery, I wonder if the island is a metaphor for our own reality where we each hide a piece of ourselves on a special island of our own, so that we always have a common bond with our own reality.

Watching out the window, the eagles and ducks appear to have this figured out. Their DNA and natural instincts prescribe their natural way of life.  You will never see a mouse turning on a hawk, mid field, and the hawk fleeing for its life.  Here on the island, there are rules of the game and one must respect the law of order. And there are distinct roles on this island of personkind: we have healers, thinkers, doers, dreamers, predators and victims.

The island and its time travel qualities is a well played out theme in literature and life. We often escape to islands when we want to get away from it all. There is something attractive about being marooned and isolated from the land lubbers.  We like to escape and be in another place.  Johnathon Swift created "Gulliver's Travels" as a metaphor for the way he saw things, but couldn't express, due to political and social constraints.  Alfred Tennyson wrote "The Lotus Eaters" in 1832 to explore the concept of escapism.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lotos-Eaters

This age of technology creates a new kind of escapism, and leaves yet another gaping hole to the questions:  Are we there? Is this my reality, or is it someone else's?  Does anybody really know what time it is?  Is anybody out there? Can anyone hear me? 

The movie, "Matrix", explores the supposition that we are subject to a master mind / mainframe, and that we are living via the programming of another.  There is a Biblical parallel to this - the concept that the book is written, and fate unfolds as we make choices along the way, but that we are all destined to a truth. We just don't know what it is yet until we find it.

The answer to all these questions, is it depends on where you are standing.  To illustrate, look at the impact of time zones.  At this moment, my daughter is in Australia,  a continent island surrounded by the sea. She is living in my tomorrow, while I am living my my today. Conversely, she is living in "her" today, and I am living in "her" yesterday. 

You get the point.  Time is relative and so is experience, and yes we are all living on our own islands under the sun. But there is a single truth that I have learned thus far in my journey:   if you are the prey to the eagle,  duck.

Some thoughts on being human

There are moments in life when we try and try, and still it's not enough.  There are times when you wish you would have reacted differently, been more kind, been more generous.  There are days when you wince at the things that were said and done.  These are teaching moments.

They teach us to reflect on the situation and remember it, for better and for worse. Teaching moments sting - they make you wince when you think of them.  Teaching moments bring our humanity back to us so that we remember how to be  . . . human.

Being human is not an easy task for us humans, I find.  Quite often, I think that to be human is to be a great aspiration, and not easy to achieve.

So what is a good human?  To me, a good human is someone who is authentic in who they are and live in their own skin, no matter what.  Good humans stand up for others when they need it, no matter what the repercussions.  Good humans ask for help, and they help others, without being asked.  Those are tall orders.  Think of great humans who embodied these principles and who have shaped our world with their actions:   Gandhi, Martin Luther King. Princess Diana, Mother Teresa . . .


Sometimes I worry that there are not enough good humans.  Truthfully, I tend to see a lot of what I would consider "carnivorous" behavior in the world.  People who would swallow their young to get ahead.  People who would sell their friends down a river for a chance to get up stream.  In fact, sometimes I think this kind of behavior is rewarded.  Maybe that's why many leaders tend to have narcissist behaviors.

All I can say is, nobody is human all the time.  We slip into negative behaviors because we are afraid, intimidated, or our pride and ego is driving us.  Good humans feel others and are empathetic towards them.  But they and we are human, so we make mistakes.

I am happy to report that there are good humans walking among us.  A leader whom I respect is the President of the University of Regina.  She said recently at a Women in Leadership Conference:  She said, "leaders cry sometimes. . . because as a leader, if you didn't invest emotional energy, you are not a leader."

Another leader who I believe to be a great human, my friend, coach and mentor,  recently reminded that everyone fails, everyone falters. Everyone wishes they would have done or said things differently.  It's how you pick yourself up that matters.

It's important to remember . . .

 . . . the path you take and the reasons why.
 . . . the people that matter in the decisons you make.
 . . . when to swallow your pride and ego.
 . . . to let the things that matter, matter.
 . . . that after the bandaid is ripped off, the pain subsides.
 . . . that everything heals.
 . . . that each day ends with the sun set.
 . . . that each day begins with a sun rise.
 . . . that not everyone is on your team.
 . . . that those who are loyal and unconditional deserve your sacrifice.
 . . . that that who are not deserve only your commitment to task.
  . . . that self respect and integrity are what you take with you every day
 . . .  to carry your self respect and integrity home each  night.
 . . . that sometimes the sprint is painful, but is far from the finish line.
 . . . what matters.
. . .  what doesn't.
 . . . who does.
 . . . who doesn't.