Brand New Me

OK, I am a Partridge Family fan. I admit it. I had a crush on David Cassidy when I was 10. One of their best songs, "A Brand New Me" begins . . . "Come on down, off your cloud, why should you be a face in the crowd . . .". This is a classic song, and a classic question.

I am resurrecting the "brand" new me concept, to step back and take a look at what this is all about. Of late, I have come to the conclusion that we are very busy at watching each other, and opining about the state of one another. We look at the way others look, the clothes they wear, and we judge that. We wonder how is that one person can be promoted or recognized for something, and others are not. We gauge our own personal success by the success of others. And the funny thing is, if we are all doing that, and being envious of each other, or critical, how do we ever really see ourselves. With all this activity going on, we create a whirl of calamity around us, and we are therefore never satisfied or content. I would describe these juxtaposing forces as calmness, versus calamity.

My coach and mentor recently gave me an assignment to observe these feelings, and to note what is happening at that exact moment. In doing so, I have come to some conclusions about self perception and interpretation, both internal and external, and how we are pushed and pulled by these forces without even realizing it.

I would use the word impulses instead of feelings. Impulses are kind of like electrical waves of emotional shifts and changes. If we were to be hooked up to a monitor, you would see the line level at "calm" and increase or spike at "calamitous." A hurricane is calamitous. A sea is calm. A storm is calamitous. A breeze is calm. A scream is calamitous. A laugh is calming. You get the picture.

So here are my observations:

• Calm = the sun, the sea, warm breezes
• Calamitous = icy cold wind
• Calm = yoga (an exercise in focus and blocking out noise)
• Calamitous = the Treadmill (running on the spot and getting nowhere)
• Calm = being in control, understanding the situation, being informed
• Calamitous = out of control, no understanding of what is happening, and being misinformed or uninformed
• Calm = accomplishment
• Calamitous = directionless activity
• Calm = contributing to something that helps someone; being part of something positive
• Calamitous = non - truthful reactions / actions
• Calm = building toward a greater good, a positive outcome
• Calamitous = idiocy and blind ignorance
• Calm = recognition for accomplishments and contribution
• Calamitous = seeing my work end up on someone else's paycheck.
• Calm = working toward something.
• Calamitous = reacting to something that is outside of my control.
• Calm = live and let live.
• Calamitous = my way or the highway

Conclusions about Calamity

When we give in to these "triggers", we give up control of ourselves. The storm takes over, and we are powerless but to go with it. When we lose control, we lose our ability to manage the outcome. Regrets always follow. Triggers are external factors but we can control how we react. My dad always says, "you can't change others, you can only change yourself." Knowing what triggers us and how we tend to react is the key. Do we act out negatively against ourselves, through vices such as work, food and cigarettes? Or do we act out negatively against others, through such vices as anger and exerting control on others over whom we have more power? Self perception has a lot to do with this. Triggers are effective because they attack something about us. In short, triggers are our ego working against us. Ego is fear. Fear is loss of control.

Everyone has a storm brewing from time to time. We can't help but feel the force of external factors that we cannot control; we are threatened by the possibility of being out of control all the time. That's why balance in life is important. And to me, balance is created when I do more of the things that give me joy, and less of the things that don't. The other aspect of balance is knowing that sometimes we have to "suck it up" and just do the things that we don't want to do, but have to do. To me, dishes are the metaphor for this - my grandmother taught me when I was 7 that sometimes you just have to do dishes.

We judge each other harshly, but in reality, everyone is looking into his or own mirror, and not looking at anyone else. I noticed this when I was at the beach in Brasil. People of all shapes and sizes were wearing bathing suits smaller than mine. I could have been sans suit and no one would have looked twice. I thought back to our local beach and judging that we think is going on. I came to the conclusion that we are watching ourselves. They are not watching us.

So, where is all this leading to?

Getting back to the "Brand New Me" opening, the place to begin is self acceptance. Say it out loud with me - "I am not perfect, but I am not broken." Next is to get busy living a plan - or living on purpose. Have a vision for the future, and take the time to break it down into specific things:

• What are the goals that will help you to achieve the vision?
• What do you need to remember to do every day and never forget to do?
• What do you value - in other words - what lines will you never cross to get to your vision?
• Finally, what is the first thing that you need to do to get there?

This is harder than it looks, but as a wise person said to me just today, "baby steps, sistah, baby steps." Ask for help - someone who can keep you on task and help you ask the tough questions.

Finally, make choices today that will get you to the place you want to be. Document the "triggers" or things that will cause you to react and possibly take you off plan. That could mean not shopping out of boredom, smoking, or diving into a big bag of salty snacks.

You will find yourself at the threshold of decisions, so be prepared to make them. Inevitably, you will have to decide the following:

• Identify what makes you feel calm and what makes you feel stormy?
• Analyze the trends. What would you have to do more of to be more calm? What do you need to stop doing or allowing? What do you need to start doing?
• Do you want to stay the way you are?
• Do you find the current state intolerable?
• What changes will you have to make?
• Do you have the courage and support to make those changes?
• Do you understand the risks, and are you prepared to manage them?
• Are you committed to this so that when the unforeseen occurs you will not abandon your plan?

Answering these soul searching questions will help you to identify options, or directions. Then you need to ask yourself these questions:
1. Which option is acceptable and creates more calmness than calamity in your life?
2. Which option is not and creates more calamity?
I realized that calamity is not an option for me. Life if too short.

Best Day Ever - Status Report

could fly to work from there. (Our local flyer had the day off apparently). Our youngest daughter came with us and slept all the way there. We spent the day in Saskatoon and shopped her favorite store. We actually had the whole store to ourselves for 1.5 hours, and we bought so much we actually had to rethink our purchases. In the end, we got something for everyone, which we will share. Then, we went to Booster Juice and celebrated with wheat grass shooters and Acai before driving back to Regina. Later this evening, both girls and I went for Sushi and it was very enjoyable to be together. I made the statement, This is the best day ever, and both times the girls laughed. The first time, Sara looked at me smiling, like she felt sorry for me as I am such a big nerd, but she joined in. Caitlyn smiled and laughed too. The BDE impact is this: Smiles, decreased stress, decreased anxiety and increased cooperation and tolerance. hmmmm.

The Best Day Ever Experiment

While holidaying in Brasil recently, everyday I would say out loud - "this is the best day ever." Everyone would look at me at first, like I was crazy. Didn't I notice that it had rained for 2 days straight. Were we not dripping in sweltering heat together, literally unable to wear underclothes? Where we not all scratching our freshly pierced skin in unison after an onslaught of some strange Brasilian mosquito?

Yes to all of that. And it was great. Everyday was the best day ever, because every day was another day that I was in Brasil. A place that I never planned or imagined that I would ever be. And here I was. Ecstatic, and loving every moment of the experience, good and bad.

When it rained, we ventured out in the rain and got wet. When it was sweltering hot, we jumped in the pool, or sought out a palm leaf to stand under for a while. Every moment was a gift. Every day was the best day ever. For 2 weeks, I would exclaim "This is the best day ever" and I at first the reaction was mixed. Some of my travelling friends looked at me and smiled pitifully at me, wondering if I had gotten too much heat, or consumed one too many mangoes. Others rolled their eyes and grunted. And others laughed and played along with me. Pretty soon others were saying it too and even being creative about building the statement into their conversations - "if we do this or that, it can be the best day ever."

Even leaving Brasil was the best day ever, because it was a new experience. We could speak the language a little better, understand how to navigate the world that we were in, and we were going to be returning how to the things we were all missing - our families, our homes, hearing English again and being able to speak to others, and even our favorite foods and restaurants.

So I promised myself that I would continue this experiment and see what changes in my life. Every day, I promised that I would say out loud at least once - this is the best day ever.

OK, so I have to admit the first shot of freezing winter that I could feel through the windows of the airport in Saskatoon kind of took the enthusiasm away for a while. Once I hit the temperatures in Saskatchewan, I was not feeling "best day ever-ish." Let's just say I had a rough landing.

But now after one week, I am acclimatizing, and ready to begin the experiment. Every day from this point on, I will say "this is the best day ever" and say why. I am going to document reactions - mine, yours, the store keeper - whoever happens to be in my path.

Today is the Best Day Ever because I ready for new start to see the world with fresh eyes again. Let's begin.

The Rubber Band Effect

Today I was wondering why sustained change is so difficult. What does it take to change, and how do you know the change occurred? And if we are able to stay in the sustained change for a while, what is the time frame that qualifies as "a while" and when does sustained change stop being change, and start being the state of being? How do you know you are not just in a change state, instead of the new state that was the object of the change process?

The answer, I believe, is that the state of being is the point when you can no longer remember the pre-change state. Our minds and memories are actually a collection of thoughts, words, emotions and expectations that have been passed down for generations. Some have been passed down for hundreds and thousands of years through the stories that we tell ourselves, the values that we say we believe in, and even through our senses of sight, smell, sound and touch.

When I hear a crow cawing in the distance, I think of our farm, and my grandmother. I place myself in that time and place, and I am, for a moment, that little girl. Full of ideas about what women do, what men do, even the images of what I thought the ideal form was at that time, as defined by the pictures around me.

In fact, world wars are still raging today because of the storage of memory in the minds of people who were not even a glimmer in someone's eye when the conflict began. Think about it. Why would you fight for a piece of land, to the point of actually hurting another person, if you didn't have a deeper reason for believing the fight was more important than the person affected? If we could step back and understand the path of the memory contained in that rubber band, maybe we could affect world peace.

OK, so world peace is lofty. But what about personal peace? What about being OK with who we are? What if we understand the memory that we contain and act on without even knowing it. What if we understand the culture of our mothers, who came from the Victorians, and their mothers, and their mothers before them? What would we take forward, and what would be leave behind. What new stories would we tell to create new memories for our children, so that they could take the good forward and leave the bad behind

We are guided by memories that translate into practices, habits, and reactions. I find that the change process is really about stretching the rubber band, attempting to change its "memory" by shifting its environment. The longer you stretch the elastic, the more time it has to build a new memory. And when you let go of that elastic the memory is still there, but it is slightly distorted.

The good news is, even if you let go of the rubber band, you can still stretch it again, starting where you left off. Over time, the change becomes sustained by sheer energy and effort. At some point, the memory in the rubber band will be gone, and its course will have spent. And a new reality has occurred.

In search of a reason

People work for many reasons. Some people work for money, others work for prestige, others work for purpose. Some people work because they like to talk to people all day, like a gas station attendant at my local gas bar, and some people work out of duty and responsibility to others.

Regardless of the reason for work though, the process is the same. Those seeking employment make application to the potential employer, usually after they have posted an ad in the local newspaper, or professional trade journal. In this process, the applicant auditions for the part by first making sure the resume matches the description of the job, and then to make sure that the resume is appropriate to the nature of the job.

But what if the tables were turned? What if we, the workers, were to post our requirements, and potential employers worked to shape the job to the people they are hoping to attract. If this were the case, what would your ad say.

Here is what mine would say:

I work for purpose, with purpose. I am a person who is passionate about what I do, taking great satisfaction in getting results, and making things happen.

I am in search of a firm that has a fearless desire to move forward, and understands the value of having excellent people, adequate systems, and the ability to create value for the stakeholder groups. I am in search of a organization where, no matter what kind of day I had, I will leave at the end of the day, and say to myself, that was time well spent.

More importantly, I am in search of a leader who is able to inspire others with a vision, and who can engage even the most distant and uninterested person in the importance of this vision. My leader must be courageous when it comes to making decisions, filling gaps, dealing with poor performers, managing the boss, and yes, telling me when I could be doing more. He knows that success only comes when others are successful, so he or she invests time, energy and resources in making sure his staff are learning and developing to their utmost potential. When he or she makes mistakes, immediate corrective action is taken.

My leader inspires me to do better and holds me accountable so that I continue to develop and expand my potential. My leader listens when I talk, looks me in eye when we have conversations, and is focused on the matter at hand. Above all, my leader treats me and others with the utmost respect and dignity at every opportunity and interaction.
If you would like the opportunity to work with a person who is intelligent, accomplished, innovative and creative, please submit your application as well as a cover letter that explains how you have contributed to the company's success over the past 5 years. Moreover, please provide a copy of your organization's employee satisfaction results, customer satisfaction, financial results, as well as a profile of the management team and board of directors. All applications will be reviewed, and only those who demonstrate these qualities as outlined will be contacted.

Thank you.

Psst. Goverance means responsibility.

As a career strategic planner, professional communicator, writer, reporter, policy analyst, and now enterprise risk manager, I have been able to work with some of the best boards and executive managers as they strive to see into the future, understand impacts and the highly improbable, and set a course for the future. I have worked with and been a part of management teams who summon their best and brightest minds, and set sail for the horizon. They mark their future with milestones: "By 2010, our profitability will be X. Our employee engagement will be Y. Our workforce will look like this. And our community will see us that way."

In the midst of all this chart setting, ship sailing and target marking, I fear we have lost sight of the reason that we actually do all this. We are too fixated on the targets, our actions are too tactical, and we are rewarded for taking small steps, instead of forging new paths and creating new futures to explore.

I question as to whether this is by choice, because of the consequences of forging into the new and unknown, or are we actually stunted by a fragmented view of the future. I wonder, if we gave all the leaders in the world a paint brush what kind of picture would we paint, and what would the canvas look like in the end?

Cutting to the chase, it does not matter whether the organization sells shoes, builds cars, or cures cancer, there are universal and common goals: to create value for people and society, to create a legacy for the future, and finally to demonstrate responsible governance. These goals speak to the greater reason that organizations exist, transcending market relevance, competition and political agendas. These goals should be on the mind of every leader, and they should be modeled as if they are part of the leader's DNA, keeping at bay wild cards like free will, and personal and political ideologies.

From my vantage point as a facilitator and an observer of leadership, as well as a practitioner in governance and accountability systems, I believe that instead of painting a canvas for good governance to occur, we are too focused on the colors and the style, not the substance.

The canvas to which I am referring is the one that paints the picture of what a well governed, responsible organization looks like, acts like, walks like and talks like. Governance is the full responsibility of the corporate stewards - those being the Board of Directors, CEO, the top executive managers and their direct reports, most commonly referred to as senior managers.

The roles and accountability's of each of these people must be clearly defined, as well as the standards to which they will be held. For without these clear standards, accountability weakens, and the governance house of cards falls down, bringing down the reputation of the entity, and in fact impacting the trust that we all place in our leaders.

According to the OECD, (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OECD#Objectives) the term “corporate responsibility” refers to the actions taken by businesses in response to such expectations in order to enhance the mutually dependent relationship between business and societies.

This is a a lofty ideal and a vision that should be shared by every organization in the world, large or small. So, what are we looking at this is so distracting?

According to Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of "The Black Swan", we are seeing the details and not the picture that is before us. He says that as humans, we are hardwired to learn specifics when we should be focused on generalities. His view is that we restrict our thinking to the irrelevant and the inconsequential, while larger events continue to surprise us and shape our world: 9-11, the success of Google, and Enron to name only three.

According to the Conference Board of Canada, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is fast becoming an important factor in exercising good and responsible governance. CSR is essentally defined as the stakeholder's voices. It is the mechanism through which we balance the economic and social interests of the business and society. Stakeholder buy in is essential to the success and acceptance of business as it is the social conscience of our actions, and assures that we create value for society, leave a legacy for the future, and demonstrate effective and responsible governance.

CSR is a relative new comer to the governance and responsibility scenario, but it the proof of its importance is in the news papers and in our own experiences. We can all point to examples where organizations that were once giants have failed, or are now flailing, because they lost their ability to make good decisions, act responsibility, and create stakeholder / community engagement and buy in.

Great visions require action and supporting systems and frameworks to guide the process. In order for organizations and leaders to see the picture, assure responsiblity and good governance, it is imperative to integrate the core governance functions that are the within the purvue of the board's responsibilities: strategic planning and performance management, enterprise risk management, corporate and stakeholder communications and corporate social responsibilty.

By integrating these aspects, we give voice to the communities and various stakeholders, generate edge of the seat intelligence that will help boards to see past the haze of the tactics to find the picture that is emerging, and to set directions to meet the needs of both business and society.

The Belly of the Great Whale

It was November 2006. I had just turned 45 a few days earlier. I was sitting at my computer, staring at a blank screen. I was at a point in my life when I realized that I needed to change something. Say something. Do something. But I had no voice. I was for the first time in my life speechless.

My life was changing dramatically and so was I. My children were now young women, growing up into young adults. My husband had come into his own in his career and was realizing is potential about 9 hours north of home every week. My job as a strategic planner had consumed my life for years.

It was that day in November that I realized that I had been many things to many people, becoming the person that I needed to be, but not who I am. I realized that somewhere on the other side of this reality was another person whose potential was unknown to me. So I decided to change on purpose, with purpose.

As a strategic planner, I naturally established my intention, a set of directions, and a deadline. I gave myself one year to change my mind, my body, and my job. I wanted to be in a different space in my career, as I was looking for advancement, challenge and a chance to make a dent in this world. I pledged that I would work responsibly and stop being a hero by working 18 hours a day to get some of my life back. And I said that I wanted to figure out what to fill my life with besides work.

Now in the corporate world where I spend the majority of my time, changing direction is no small feat because it must begin with changing minds. Every good and worthy planner knows that the way to change head space is to cause a disruption in the experience. Alter reality. To all novice change makers, this is no easy task. Invoking change can create a tidal wave of events that can challenge personal values, belief systems and create reactions that you never thought possible. Few corporate giants do this successfully. Change must be managed, monitored and adjusted according to the experience and the outcomes.

So I used the same principles of business to invoke a change in my life and head space. I devised a framework to focus on these key concepts.

1. Choose Defiance.

Reality is often defined by fears and insecurities that prevent us from doing things that we would like to do. We are afraid that if we take that step, we might fall into an abyss of nothingness and lose everything we have and know. We are afraid that we are not good enough. We are afraid of failure; we are hardwired to believe that failure is . . . well, bad.

In order to alter my reality I knew that I had to challenge my own assumptions about who I am, what I value, what I am about, and what I am capable of. So I made a commitment to defiance.

When I say that, eyebrows tend to rise. Defiance is natural. Birds defy gravity. Trees grow in rock. Babies are born, kicking and screaming. Defiance is a natural process of renewal and change. Without defiance, our earth would cease to revolve. The sun would cease to shine. And we would cease to exist. Yet as people, we have been raised and socialized to behave. We even medicate our children in school so they will behave. In the class room and in the corporate world we cast out the different and diverse. Then we add diversity programs so that we remember to treat each other the way we would like to be treated. Through our institutional behaviors, we have lost our ability to naturally change, grow, and resist status quo – or death, as I like to call it. Defiance is important to growth, because through defiance, we are forced to see another side. Explore a new possibility. Walk against the traffic.

So I set a goal to commit three defiant acts that would challenge my personal fears, assumptions and insecurities, find my voice and ultimately my direction. Defiance meant saying no, not working late, not trying to impress people by over achieving. It meant eating the foods I like and living the way I want to live. Testing new boundaries, and taking the risk of falling, and learning how to land. Defiance taught me to challenge my personal status quo, and all the conventions and limitations that have influenced me in the past – as far back as my childhood and as deep down as my inner most fears and insecurities.

While I did not know what I would actually do at the time, I likely committed more than three acts of defiance when I look back because it actually created a ripple effect. It began with saying no to overtime, and saying no to unfair treatment of people and taking a stand on those things worth fighting for, namely people and principles. In my quest for balance (something I don’t believe I have ever had before) I tattooed an image on my lower back that symbolizes my quest for balance. Every day, I look at it and I love it and I remember my promise to me. I pierced my nose, much to my mother’s dismay, and I stepped into uncharted territory when it came to business and my personal life. I learned along the way, and discovered that I have the power to choose my destiny as we all do. I found out what it feels like to take a step and land in another place where I had never allowed myself to go before. I took up smoking to stop by year end. And I fell in love . . . with the possibility that there is more to discover.

What I learned is defiance helped me to realize the courage that I had. It gave me the strength that I needed to grow, and it helped me to confirm my values and principles. At the end of the day, I learned the importance of values, and the need above all else to be respectful to oneself and others.

2. Listen and Seek to Understand.

It is my belief that we hold ourselves back with what we tell ourselves about ourselves. These thoughts betray our potential. In fact, we are only able to accomplish what we can ourselves imagine.

What we think about is who we are. What we imagine, is what we become. So in order to liberate my thinking, I committed to listening to my own self talk, so that I could hear what I think about - what rolls around in my mind, so that I would be able to understand better who I came to be, who I am, and who I have yet to be. Listening, I discovered, is an art from. And listening to oneself takes discipline as it requires the ability to block out the personal noise that we have going on in our heads all the time.

To develop listening skills, I learned to play the guitar, since I have always had a penchant for rock stars. Learning to play guitar, I discovered, is about listening. I also took up yoga to find ways to balance my energy, quiet my thinking and learn to listen to the sound my own breath. I also set a personal goal to “seek to understand” rather than jumping to conclusions and reacting to my environment. This too took some discipline, because we are naturally judgmental of ourselves and the people around us. I needed to learn to listen to what was being said rather than letting judgments fly, thereby limiting the potential of the moment.

What I was thinking about, observing, feeling, worrying about or wondering about became the subject of my writing. Every night, I would sit down at my computer, close my eyes, and look into the darkness with my fingers resting on my keyboard. I would reflect on the day and events, how I was feeling, and why. I committed to be positive in my reactions, but insightful in my quest to understand my thinking process, not judge. The writing process takes on a life of its own from there, since it’s really an art, not a science. It is existential, because it requires reaching those places that we rarely visit in our minds in our souls. But when I write, I focus on the sound of my own heart beating, and the cadence of my breath. The words and stories came forward, through my fingertips to reveal whatever it is that comes forth. The first poem in this collection, “Write me Away”, was not the first poem I had ever written, but it was the first poem that was written with the intention to be free and to explore, to give way to the flood of images that, when translated into words, would embody a poetic heartbeat and pulse.

3. Be Imperfect. But be Honest.

Perfectionism breeds fear and insecurity. So in the writing process, I made a commitment to let go of each poem without revising, editing and perfecting. After every poem, I saved it, named it and closed the file. Each poem took anywhere from 3 minutes to 30 minutes to write. They are what they were at that moment in time. And they remain, with minor editing for punctuation and capitalization (so as not to offend the English majors in the crowd.)


4. Reflect and Learn.

After some time, I went back to the file and discovered that there were over 30 poems that I had written over a period of approximately 5 months. I read them and realized that a change had occurred in three stages as revealed by the poems: Emerging, Defiant and Breaking Through. I was moving along my journey, but I knew that I had still had a distance to travel, and that I will never really get there. The interesting thing about being human is that our potential is far beyond that of our natural life / body form. Maybe that is the way it is intended to be, but that must mean that we need to draw the potential out of each moment, each person that we meet, each emotion, and each experience.

The last poem, “Message in a Bottle” took one and a half years to write, as it is a metaphor for a crucial step in the change process – saying good bye to all that contains us, all our dependencies and fears – and celebrating life and its gifts for what they are. Accepting that what it is, is. Celebrating the moments of life, good and bad. Learning from the teachers that come and go through life and learning when it’s time to walk away. From reflection and learning comes acceptance, and ultimately peace.

5. Avoid rooms with no doors.

Because everyone has something to gain
By my staying the same.
Everyone has a stake
In me never changing.- 45

While in the midst of this self induced change, the company that I was working for was also going through significant change. The merger that we had all given many days and nights to was suffering under the weight of forces beyond our control. I had begun to increase overtime again and I was pushing back and speaking up about what was happening.

I found myself alone and exhausted, with no one to talk to. One day stands out in my mind. I was driving home, and I was feeling like I was in a room with no doors. I felt trapped and frustrated. I tried calling friends but no one was available. That night, I picked up the phone to contact my former boss to congratulate her on a recent award. Somehow the conversation struck a chord with me. This was a person for whom I have the most respect for - not just her accomplishments, but also who she is.

The way she approaches things is what I admire most about her. She is “human” – and that is a rare quality in my mind. Somehow through the course of talking with my friend and mentor, I came to the realization that I could not undergo this change alone. I needed help. And more importantly, I needed someone to be honest with me. I needed someone who did not have a stake in my changing. So I asked if she knew of anyone who could coach me, and she said that she was available. The door opened up at that moment.

As my coach and mentor, she held a mirror up to me, so that I could see myself honestly and confront those things that hold me back- fear of failure, judgment of self and others, reacting to a damaged ego and possibly with malice. I took the steps to consider my next growth path, looking out longer term to realize long term goals. She helped me with tools, giving me a door to walk through when I needed it.

Turns out the door is wherever we want it to be. Like Gulliver, who was held down by the Lilliputians, we are held down by the little things by own accord. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilliput_and_Blefuscu We can and do open our own doors. That sounds cliche, but it is not as easy as it sounds. The door for me, I discovered, is to open my mind to the experience of others, rather than reacting with fear and judgment.

Now two years later, I continue to pursue my intention to realize my potential, and to continue stretching and growing, challenging my thinking and my fears, and allowing myself to be imperfect. I have learned that wherever one goes, one must always hold values near and dear.

I remember my mission to “seek to understand”, especially when I would rather take the easy way out and react with judgment. It’s not easy, but I like to believe that by seeking to understand, I am becoming a better person. I have found, through the advice of my coach, that by committing to learning from each conversation and experience, I am able to learn from the various teachers that life has brought me.

Looking back now on this journey and how and where it began, I realized that I had been swallowed whole by a whale and did not realize it until the oxygen dissipated and I needed to escape. The whale was my work and the way that I allowed it to becomer personal and all defining. As a result, I was consumed, unknowingly and gradually. I realized that I could have stayed too long, and possibly suffocated in that whale's belly had I not felt that inexplicable claustrophobia. Today, some my best friends I fear are feeling that shortening of breath, the feeling of being entombed. And while they may not see it yet, I know where they are. They are in the belly of the giant whale.