In search of a reason

People work for many reasons. Some people work for money, others work for prestige, others work for purpose. Some people work because they like to talk to people all day, like a gas station attendant at my local gas bar, and some people work out of duty and responsibility to others.

Regardless of the reason for work though, the process is the same. Those seeking employment make application to the potential employer, usually after they have posted an ad in the local newspaper, or professional trade journal. In this process, the applicant auditions for the part by first making sure the resume matches the description of the job, and then to make sure that the resume is appropriate to the nature of the job.

But what if the tables were turned? What if we, the workers, were to post our requirements, and potential employers worked to shape the job to the people they are hoping to attract. If this were the case, what would your ad say.

Here is what mine would say:

I work for purpose, with purpose. I am a person who is passionate about what I do, taking great satisfaction in getting results, and making things happen.

I am in search of a firm that has a fearless desire to move forward, and understands the value of having excellent people, adequate systems, and the ability to create value for the stakeholder groups. I am in search of a organization where, no matter what kind of day I had, I will leave at the end of the day, and say to myself, that was time well spent.

More importantly, I am in search of a leader who is able to inspire others with a vision, and who can engage even the most distant and uninterested person in the importance of this vision. My leader must be courageous when it comes to making decisions, filling gaps, dealing with poor performers, managing the boss, and yes, telling me when I could be doing more. He knows that success only comes when others are successful, so he or she invests time, energy and resources in making sure his staff are learning and developing to their utmost potential. When he or she makes mistakes, immediate corrective action is taken.

My leader inspires me to do better and holds me accountable so that I continue to develop and expand my potential. My leader listens when I talk, looks me in eye when we have conversations, and is focused on the matter at hand. Above all, my leader treats me and others with the utmost respect and dignity at every opportunity and interaction.
If you would like the opportunity to work with a person who is intelligent, accomplished, innovative and creative, please submit your application as well as a cover letter that explains how you have contributed to the company's success over the past 5 years. Moreover, please provide a copy of your organization's employee satisfaction results, customer satisfaction, financial results, as well as a profile of the management team and board of directors. All applications will be reviewed, and only those who demonstrate these qualities as outlined will be contacted.

Thank you.

Psst. Goverance means responsibility.

As a career strategic planner, professional communicator, writer, reporter, policy analyst, and now enterprise risk manager, I have been able to work with some of the best boards and executive managers as they strive to see into the future, understand impacts and the highly improbable, and set a course for the future. I have worked with and been a part of management teams who summon their best and brightest minds, and set sail for the horizon. They mark their future with milestones: "By 2010, our profitability will be X. Our employee engagement will be Y. Our workforce will look like this. And our community will see us that way."

In the midst of all this chart setting, ship sailing and target marking, I fear we have lost sight of the reason that we actually do all this. We are too fixated on the targets, our actions are too tactical, and we are rewarded for taking small steps, instead of forging new paths and creating new futures to explore.

I question as to whether this is by choice, because of the consequences of forging into the new and unknown, or are we actually stunted by a fragmented view of the future. I wonder, if we gave all the leaders in the world a paint brush what kind of picture would we paint, and what would the canvas look like in the end?

Cutting to the chase, it does not matter whether the organization sells shoes, builds cars, or cures cancer, there are universal and common goals: to create value for people and society, to create a legacy for the future, and finally to demonstrate responsible governance. These goals speak to the greater reason that organizations exist, transcending market relevance, competition and political agendas. These goals should be on the mind of every leader, and they should be modeled as if they are part of the leader's DNA, keeping at bay wild cards like free will, and personal and political ideologies.

From my vantage point as a facilitator and an observer of leadership, as well as a practitioner in governance and accountability systems, I believe that instead of painting a canvas for good governance to occur, we are too focused on the colors and the style, not the substance.

The canvas to which I am referring is the one that paints the picture of what a well governed, responsible organization looks like, acts like, walks like and talks like. Governance is the full responsibility of the corporate stewards - those being the Board of Directors, CEO, the top executive managers and their direct reports, most commonly referred to as senior managers.

The roles and accountability's of each of these people must be clearly defined, as well as the standards to which they will be held. For without these clear standards, accountability weakens, and the governance house of cards falls down, bringing down the reputation of the entity, and in fact impacting the trust that we all place in our leaders.

According to the OECD, (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OECD#Objectives) the term “corporate responsibility” refers to the actions taken by businesses in response to such expectations in order to enhance the mutually dependent relationship between business and societies.

This is a a lofty ideal and a vision that should be shared by every organization in the world, large or small. So, what are we looking at this is so distracting?

According to Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of "The Black Swan", we are seeing the details and not the picture that is before us. He says that as humans, we are hardwired to learn specifics when we should be focused on generalities. His view is that we restrict our thinking to the irrelevant and the inconsequential, while larger events continue to surprise us and shape our world: 9-11, the success of Google, and Enron to name only three.

According to the Conference Board of Canada, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is fast becoming an important factor in exercising good and responsible governance. CSR is essentally defined as the stakeholder's voices. It is the mechanism through which we balance the economic and social interests of the business and society. Stakeholder buy in is essential to the success and acceptance of business as it is the social conscience of our actions, and assures that we create value for society, leave a legacy for the future, and demonstrate effective and responsible governance.

CSR is a relative new comer to the governance and responsibility scenario, but it the proof of its importance is in the news papers and in our own experiences. We can all point to examples where organizations that were once giants have failed, or are now flailing, because they lost their ability to make good decisions, act responsibility, and create stakeholder / community engagement and buy in.

Great visions require action and supporting systems and frameworks to guide the process. In order for organizations and leaders to see the picture, assure responsiblity and good governance, it is imperative to integrate the core governance functions that are the within the purvue of the board's responsibilities: strategic planning and performance management, enterprise risk management, corporate and stakeholder communications and corporate social responsibilty.

By integrating these aspects, we give voice to the communities and various stakeholders, generate edge of the seat intelligence that will help boards to see past the haze of the tactics to find the picture that is emerging, and to set directions to meet the needs of both business and society.

The Belly of the Great Whale

It was November 2006. I had just turned 45 a few days earlier. I was sitting at my computer, staring at a blank screen. I was at a point in my life when I realized that I needed to change something. Say something. Do something. But I had no voice. I was for the first time in my life speechless.

My life was changing dramatically and so was I. My children were now young women, growing up into young adults. My husband had come into his own in his career and was realizing is potential about 9 hours north of home every week. My job as a strategic planner had consumed my life for years.

It was that day in November that I realized that I had been many things to many people, becoming the person that I needed to be, but not who I am. I realized that somewhere on the other side of this reality was another person whose potential was unknown to me. So I decided to change on purpose, with purpose.

As a strategic planner, I naturally established my intention, a set of directions, and a deadline. I gave myself one year to change my mind, my body, and my job. I wanted to be in a different space in my career, as I was looking for advancement, challenge and a chance to make a dent in this world. I pledged that I would work responsibly and stop being a hero by working 18 hours a day to get some of my life back. And I said that I wanted to figure out what to fill my life with besides work.

Now in the corporate world where I spend the majority of my time, changing direction is no small feat because it must begin with changing minds. Every good and worthy planner knows that the way to change head space is to cause a disruption in the experience. Alter reality. To all novice change makers, this is no easy task. Invoking change can create a tidal wave of events that can challenge personal values, belief systems and create reactions that you never thought possible. Few corporate giants do this successfully. Change must be managed, monitored and adjusted according to the experience and the outcomes.

So I used the same principles of business to invoke a change in my life and head space. I devised a framework to focus on these key concepts.

1. Choose Defiance.

Reality is often defined by fears and insecurities that prevent us from doing things that we would like to do. We are afraid that if we take that step, we might fall into an abyss of nothingness and lose everything we have and know. We are afraid that we are not good enough. We are afraid of failure; we are hardwired to believe that failure is . . . well, bad.

In order to alter my reality I knew that I had to challenge my own assumptions about who I am, what I value, what I am about, and what I am capable of. So I made a commitment to defiance.

When I say that, eyebrows tend to rise. Defiance is natural. Birds defy gravity. Trees grow in rock. Babies are born, kicking and screaming. Defiance is a natural process of renewal and change. Without defiance, our earth would cease to revolve. The sun would cease to shine. And we would cease to exist. Yet as people, we have been raised and socialized to behave. We even medicate our children in school so they will behave. In the class room and in the corporate world we cast out the different and diverse. Then we add diversity programs so that we remember to treat each other the way we would like to be treated. Through our institutional behaviors, we have lost our ability to naturally change, grow, and resist status quo – or death, as I like to call it. Defiance is important to growth, because through defiance, we are forced to see another side. Explore a new possibility. Walk against the traffic.

So I set a goal to commit three defiant acts that would challenge my personal fears, assumptions and insecurities, find my voice and ultimately my direction. Defiance meant saying no, not working late, not trying to impress people by over achieving. It meant eating the foods I like and living the way I want to live. Testing new boundaries, and taking the risk of falling, and learning how to land. Defiance taught me to challenge my personal status quo, and all the conventions and limitations that have influenced me in the past – as far back as my childhood and as deep down as my inner most fears and insecurities.

While I did not know what I would actually do at the time, I likely committed more than three acts of defiance when I look back because it actually created a ripple effect. It began with saying no to overtime, and saying no to unfair treatment of people and taking a stand on those things worth fighting for, namely people and principles. In my quest for balance (something I don’t believe I have ever had before) I tattooed an image on my lower back that symbolizes my quest for balance. Every day, I look at it and I love it and I remember my promise to me. I pierced my nose, much to my mother’s dismay, and I stepped into uncharted territory when it came to business and my personal life. I learned along the way, and discovered that I have the power to choose my destiny as we all do. I found out what it feels like to take a step and land in another place where I had never allowed myself to go before. I took up smoking to stop by year end. And I fell in love . . . with the possibility that there is more to discover.

What I learned is defiance helped me to realize the courage that I had. It gave me the strength that I needed to grow, and it helped me to confirm my values and principles. At the end of the day, I learned the importance of values, and the need above all else to be respectful to oneself and others.

2. Listen and Seek to Understand.

It is my belief that we hold ourselves back with what we tell ourselves about ourselves. These thoughts betray our potential. In fact, we are only able to accomplish what we can ourselves imagine.

What we think about is who we are. What we imagine, is what we become. So in order to liberate my thinking, I committed to listening to my own self talk, so that I could hear what I think about - what rolls around in my mind, so that I would be able to understand better who I came to be, who I am, and who I have yet to be. Listening, I discovered, is an art from. And listening to oneself takes discipline as it requires the ability to block out the personal noise that we have going on in our heads all the time.

To develop listening skills, I learned to play the guitar, since I have always had a penchant for rock stars. Learning to play guitar, I discovered, is about listening. I also took up yoga to find ways to balance my energy, quiet my thinking and learn to listen to the sound my own breath. I also set a personal goal to “seek to understand” rather than jumping to conclusions and reacting to my environment. This too took some discipline, because we are naturally judgmental of ourselves and the people around us. I needed to learn to listen to what was being said rather than letting judgments fly, thereby limiting the potential of the moment.

What I was thinking about, observing, feeling, worrying about or wondering about became the subject of my writing. Every night, I would sit down at my computer, close my eyes, and look into the darkness with my fingers resting on my keyboard. I would reflect on the day and events, how I was feeling, and why. I committed to be positive in my reactions, but insightful in my quest to understand my thinking process, not judge. The writing process takes on a life of its own from there, since it’s really an art, not a science. It is existential, because it requires reaching those places that we rarely visit in our minds in our souls. But when I write, I focus on the sound of my own heart beating, and the cadence of my breath. The words and stories came forward, through my fingertips to reveal whatever it is that comes forth. The first poem in this collection, “Write me Away”, was not the first poem I had ever written, but it was the first poem that was written with the intention to be free and to explore, to give way to the flood of images that, when translated into words, would embody a poetic heartbeat and pulse.

3. Be Imperfect. But be Honest.

Perfectionism breeds fear and insecurity. So in the writing process, I made a commitment to let go of each poem without revising, editing and perfecting. After every poem, I saved it, named it and closed the file. Each poem took anywhere from 3 minutes to 30 minutes to write. They are what they were at that moment in time. And they remain, with minor editing for punctuation and capitalization (so as not to offend the English majors in the crowd.)


4. Reflect and Learn.

After some time, I went back to the file and discovered that there were over 30 poems that I had written over a period of approximately 5 months. I read them and realized that a change had occurred in three stages as revealed by the poems: Emerging, Defiant and Breaking Through. I was moving along my journey, but I knew that I had still had a distance to travel, and that I will never really get there. The interesting thing about being human is that our potential is far beyond that of our natural life / body form. Maybe that is the way it is intended to be, but that must mean that we need to draw the potential out of each moment, each person that we meet, each emotion, and each experience.

The last poem, “Message in a Bottle” took one and a half years to write, as it is a metaphor for a crucial step in the change process – saying good bye to all that contains us, all our dependencies and fears – and celebrating life and its gifts for what they are. Accepting that what it is, is. Celebrating the moments of life, good and bad. Learning from the teachers that come and go through life and learning when it’s time to walk away. From reflection and learning comes acceptance, and ultimately peace.

5. Avoid rooms with no doors.

Because everyone has something to gain
By my staying the same.
Everyone has a stake
In me never changing.- 45

While in the midst of this self induced change, the company that I was working for was also going through significant change. The merger that we had all given many days and nights to was suffering under the weight of forces beyond our control. I had begun to increase overtime again and I was pushing back and speaking up about what was happening.

I found myself alone and exhausted, with no one to talk to. One day stands out in my mind. I was driving home, and I was feeling like I was in a room with no doors. I felt trapped and frustrated. I tried calling friends but no one was available. That night, I picked up the phone to contact my former boss to congratulate her on a recent award. Somehow the conversation struck a chord with me. This was a person for whom I have the most respect for - not just her accomplishments, but also who she is.

The way she approaches things is what I admire most about her. She is “human” – and that is a rare quality in my mind. Somehow through the course of talking with my friend and mentor, I came to the realization that I could not undergo this change alone. I needed help. And more importantly, I needed someone to be honest with me. I needed someone who did not have a stake in my changing. So I asked if she knew of anyone who could coach me, and she said that she was available. The door opened up at that moment.

As my coach and mentor, she held a mirror up to me, so that I could see myself honestly and confront those things that hold me back- fear of failure, judgment of self and others, reacting to a damaged ego and possibly with malice. I took the steps to consider my next growth path, looking out longer term to realize long term goals. She helped me with tools, giving me a door to walk through when I needed it.

Turns out the door is wherever we want it to be. Like Gulliver, who was held down by the Lilliputians, we are held down by the little things by own accord. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilliput_and_Blefuscu We can and do open our own doors. That sounds cliche, but it is not as easy as it sounds. The door for me, I discovered, is to open my mind to the experience of others, rather than reacting with fear and judgment.

Now two years later, I continue to pursue my intention to realize my potential, and to continue stretching and growing, challenging my thinking and my fears, and allowing myself to be imperfect. I have learned that wherever one goes, one must always hold values near and dear.

I remember my mission to “seek to understand”, especially when I would rather take the easy way out and react with judgment. It’s not easy, but I like to believe that by seeking to understand, I am becoming a better person. I have found, through the advice of my coach, that by committing to learning from each conversation and experience, I am able to learn from the various teachers that life has brought me.

Looking back now on this journey and how and where it began, I realized that I had been swallowed whole by a whale and did not realize it until the oxygen dissipated and I needed to escape. The whale was my work and the way that I allowed it to becomer personal and all defining. As a result, I was consumed, unknowingly and gradually. I realized that I could have stayed too long, and possibly suffocated in that whale's belly had I not felt that inexplicable claustrophobia. Today, some my best friends I fear are feeling that shortening of breath, the feeling of being entombed. And while they may not see it yet, I know where they are. They are in the belly of the giant whale.

The Smile Factor

I live by an adage that was passed on to my by my dad - you can say anything to anybody as long as you are smiling. Think about it - a smile says a lot. If it's a difficult message, a smile says, this might be uncomfortable for you to hear, but you need to know this. If it's a good message, then the smile says - congratulations. Either way, a smile helps the medicine go down, and it will create a lasting impression. My dad is my role model in what I call the smile factor. He is a caring person and that comes across in his eyes, his voice, and his smile. When he has something to say that is important, the way that he delivers the message always comes across with the best intention.

So, what's the return on a smile you ask? There are a couple ways to measure "ROS" -Return on Smile.

Number one, the smile factor can be related to success in business. My dad is the original salesman of all time, spanning 50 years. I always say he can sell anything to anybody and he has. Since the beginning of memory, he has sold everything from milk to life insurance, to photocopiers and real estate. But he's not just any salesman. He is a person who understands and in fact enjoys the human experience and he knows what motivates and moves people to action. But the success is not in the product that he sells. In fact, the experience in working with him is the product. The success is in his own delivery. He uses eye contact. He listens. And he acts with the best intention. He walks away when he should, and he advises his clients when a bad idea is just a bad idea. People trust that every time, and they trust him.

The smile factor has also translates to good health and well being, because it promotes positivity. And positivity is a major factor in fighting the effects of stress and illness.

I would also measure ROS by how well one influences others to take action. Everyday we make decisions and invest time and money into things that help us to achieve a goal or a fulfil a dream. So, it's important to know the difference between caring about people and caring about personal gain. In the course of my sales career in my 20s, I listened to my clients about their hopes, dreams an aspirations for their sleeping infant. I made it a point to know who they were as people, and the names and birthdays of their children so that if I saw them on the street, I could say hello and greet them by name. Then the day came when I stopped thinking about the people and started thinking about commissions. That was the day I ended my scholarship sales career because when that day came, I know that people would know that my best interests were ahead of theirs. So I walked away.

Smiling also builds trust. Throughout my personal and professional life, I have always believed that people are the most important consideration. People deserve to feel appreciated, valued, to be heard, and they need to have a say in their life. Smiling and being pleasant and genuinely interested in people is the best way to create this kind of impression. And it's so simple.

Think about it. Imagine the grumpiest curmudgeon that you can and think about how people react to that person. They tend to walk around these people, giving them a wide birth so as not to disrupt their seemingly grumpy disposition. When encountering a curmudgeon, we tend to keep our eyes down, or we try to politely acknowledge the individual with a quick glance and a corner of the mouth smile. Curmudgeons tend to scare and intimidate people.

Curmudgeonry is not the way to win friends and influence people, my dad would say. No, he would say that everything we do is about creating a lasting impression. So make it a good one. That doesn't mean that one should be a pushover. It means that one should treat others with kindness and respect at all times. No matter what we do in life, we are always selling something to someone. Every step we take, every smile, every action, every reaction creates an impressions and perceptions. Perceptions become reality.

The other thing about smiling and not being a curmudgeon (I love that word), is that people do look you in the eye instead of avoiding eye contact. And eye contact is one of the best ways to read people. Our eyes are the mirror to our thoughts and they seldom lie. I trust someone who looks me in the eye.

So everyday day, I smile. Especially when I don't want to. And when, from time to time that becomes difficult, I try not to inflict my "curmudgeonly" attitude on others. Those are the days that tend to lock myself away from the world to regain perspective. And if I am not smiling, I think about what is dragging me down, and what I need to do to change that so that negativity does not become me.

I try to remember that a smile is the best gift one person can give to another. It is the best way to deliver good news, or something that is going to be more difficult to hear. A smile comes from the heart. It translates a positive message and a lasting impression. It allows for honesty with good intention, and it builds relationships and friendships. So smile, and others will smile back at you.

I heard the news today

In this lifetime, there are people that we meet and then there are the people who not only create a lasting impression, but who become the model of what a great and worthy person is. Today I learned that such a person passed away. My friend died after a long battle with cancer which she fought courageously and with dignity. But that is not how she will be remembered. My friend will be remembered for the way she lived - who she was every day with each and every person who was fortunate enough to know her.

I knew Sandra as a professional and she always amazed me with what she could accomplish because she was inspirational and she cared for others. Sandra had a vision and a belief that passion in what we do every day is essential. She lived that vision each day helping people to live their passion. I share Sandra's vision, and I can only hope that at the end of my life, whenever that may be, I will have made a difference to others the way Sandra did for me and so many others.

Even though I did not know Sandra as well personally, I know that she was an authentic person. I know that by the way she smiled with her eyes, by the way she held my hand every time we met, as if passing her love of life and passion onto me and everyone else. Her smile, her touch and the sparkle in her eyes are most memorable to me, because in all the years that I knew her, these things never changed, no matter what was happening in her life. She believed in the potential of each person in each moment. And she made others believe. She made me believe.

I will remember Sandra as my friend and my teacher. Her light will shine on, for a light as bright as hers can only grow brighter each day.

The 7 rules of misstoffellees the adventure cat

We have a cat and she has taught many things about how to be a good cat host by carefully outlining for us the 7 rules that we need to know as her hosts and her servants.

First, When petting Misstoffellees, start at then tip of the nose and follow through to the tip of her tail in one single motion, apply the appropriate amount of pressure so as to provide a gentle massage at the sime time. Repeat until she bites. Then, stop.

Second,when she wants to go outdoors, one must open the door and walk away. That way, she can approach the door as she so desires, without any pressure or time expectations. Only after she has cleared the door way and front porch should the door be closed behind her.

Thrice, when she wants to come indoors, conversely, the door must be opened and left so until she decides to grace us with her presence. She should never be left to sitting outside a closed door wating to come in as that would be dog-like as seen as begging. This is simply not acceptable.

Fourth, when feeding Misstoffellees, one must place a handful of food in the bowl before she arrives, just as she is ready to approach the bowl. Once again, she does not wait or ask to be fed, as that would be seen as a canine level treatment.

Fifth, Misstoffellees requires that she be allowed to sleep wherever she chooses, and does not share with person nor beast.

Sixth, when one leaves one's chair returning to find her royal catness on the warm cushion, one must not disturb her from her resting place.

Seventh, when referring to her in public, one must use her full cat name - Misstoffellees the adventure cat - as this is a show of respect. All other "pet" names must be used judicously and privately so as not to embarrass or show inappropriate levels of conduct unbefitting a cat.

Wanted: Leaders who lead.

Everyone wants to be a leader these days. And why not. Leaders have the power to make things happen - to change people's lives, and possibly the world. Real leaders make a difference to others, not themselves. And yes, "leaders" usually make more money.

So when it comes to measuring leadership acumen, how do you know you are being a good leader? Well, let's paraphrase what the good leadership books say.

You are the kind of person who needs to understand where you are going, where you have been, and how you are going to get there. You can see the big picture and 5 feet in front of you at all times. You find yourself talking about the future, and what you are planning to do next. You get excited about making things happen. Wandering is not your style; you work with purpose, and do things on purpose. You like the sound of success and better yet, you know it when you see it and feel it. You are proud of your accomplishments, and even prouder of your team’s accomplishments.

Yep, that's what all the leadership books say about successful leadership. Who can argue with selfless visionary determination, spiked with inspiration and passion? However, none of the above is measurable. It is all subjective.

I measure a good leader in more tangible ways. Do I want to work for that person? Does my leader make me want to be better and do better? Is he silent about his own success, but celebrates mine and others' successes? When he fails, does he shout it from the rooftop and asks for forgiveness, letting me know that being human is OK? When I fail, does he support me and help me to recover? Does she see my strengths before I do? Does he bring out the best in me? Do I ask myself, what would he or she do in this situation? Have I grown as a result of this person's encouragement and teaching?

If I could ask all the aspiring leaders in the world one question, it would be this: What do you do when you fail? This is a critical question because failure is eminent and it's what you do when you fail that shows the character of the person. As human beings, we all fail eventually at something, yet we are not socialized or taught to accept and celebrate failure. For example, in sports, everyone cheers when the team scores. And why not? It is a victorious moment and it allows us to celebrate the skill, stealth and athletic prowess of the player to scores the goal. We try and placate the losers by recognizing that they tried hard and it was just an off night. We celebrate wins and make excuses for losses. We are doomed to be unsuccessful perfectionists by the way we have been raised, praised and promoted. Going from the school play ground to the corporate play ground, we promote people based on technical skill and prowess, using their own scorecard to quantify and celebrate their achievements. Truthfully, I never want to work for one of these "manufactured leaders".

The reality is we are all human, and none of us are super human stars to never fail or miss? We all screw up from time to time, and that's the way it is. It's just a matter of time. So why do we persecute the ones who screw up from time to time, now that we are adults and have supposedly grown past the adolescent game playing? Don't we realize that the way we treat others is how we in the end are treated?

I admire people who try to do good things, regardless of whether they make mistakes along the way or not. Sometimes when you take risks, or go out on the limb for something important, mistakes can happen. Even more, I admire the person can make mistakes and admit them to others. Loudly. These are the people that I know I can trust. And I would happily call them my leaders.